That’s so gay!
Is one of my least favourite expressions.
Why? Well,I’m going with the reason that I’ve only ever heard myself say. See,that’s so gay,you’re so gay is meant as a slur. Yet it’s really about as big a compliment you could give someone. Think about it. Think about the courage it takes simply to hold hands in public in such a homophobic society as ours. I’ve never had to worry about someone yelling at me or attacking me because I was holding a girlfriend’s hand. I’ve never had to hide my sexuality in a changing room or a workplace because it wasn’t safe. My parents haven’t disowned me because I’m straight.
I hear people use this expression so often. Someone used it at work when I was running a fundraising team. I said it wasn’t ok in my team,that language like that wasn’t acceptable. A moment or two later an eighteen year old woman spoke up saying…this is a good time to tell you all I’m gay. What happens if I say nothing? A male in authority tacitly saying homophobia is ok in the workplace.
I’ve never seen two men kiss in public that I can remember other than in a pink area. A pink area! Imagine if the only place to take a partner out for a drink that was safe was the designated straight area. What colour would ours be? Red,yellow,blue? I’ve seen more lesbian couples kiss,hold hands in the coffee shop. I want to stare,to tell them I’m so glad they feel safe to do this. They’d probably think I was a little weird. If I saw two men kissing in my coffee shop I’d feel weird. I’m a guy remember and I have to be super straight. But it’s normal to think about sex. Even with the same sex. To experiment or not.
Love is love. Sex is sex. Making love is making love. And if I ever am ever as in love as the two getting married in the second clip below I’d be in heaven. Come to think of it,if my dad spoke to me in the way the father speaks there…well I wouldn’t be in heaven I’d most likely be in the ICU recovering as the man is not able to be so beautiful which is a story for another.
I’m really clear next time we here ‘that’s so gay’ it’s time to say…wow,thank you,that was such a wonderful compliment.
If you don’t believe me watch these clips-