I’ve been blessed to have seen Pearl Jam 25 times. Seen them in 8 countries and 15 cities.

Seeing that in black and white illuminates the gift that Pearl Jam has given my life. This tour alone 4 shows, 3 cities and 3 countries 133songs, 86 unique songs including a 3hr 20 min, 36 song show in Leeds. Great music, 3hr plus shows and then there are the other fans I meet. I know I’d meet someone I knew at a Pearl Jam show anywhere in the world.

I have found being around new people scary throughout my life yet at a Pearl Jam show this melts away and I find I can join in without being afraid. This is a relief. I feel at home and accepted. And the Leeds show had everything I desired.

The venue was a delight, the people I wanted to be there were there and the show was something beyond my wildest dreams. And a night out queueing for good measure arriving at the venue just after 4.30 Monday afternoon for a show Tuesday night and I wasn’t the first. I still haven’t mastered the art of sleeping on the concrete so it was a sleepless night. A sleepless night of conversation, of big Mick on the guitar, a visit by a drunk and companionship.

I could write so much about the show, the rarities played, Fatal getting played as a request for a friend. The only thing I want to write about is Jeremy. Every time I hear it live it affects me deeper than the last. A song about a young boy who shot himself in front of his classmates feeling that nobody cared. Now they’d care. My whole body shook on Tuesday as the twin peaks of his scream and my own screams as a child to be cared about met. I sobbed because we live in a world where children have guns, where children are soldiers, where children are abused. I love the power of this song, I love how the brutal truth is being told.

I want to thank everyone at Leeds who made the show so special for me. So very special for me. I can’t name you all as I’ll end up forgetting someone so I’m going to name no one. I’m thanking the crowd with no names and I’m trusting you to know who you are.

Think you all

And for me, I’m still Alive and those who know that story know I really didn’t think I would be.